duminică, 21 septembrie 2014

The Choices We Make

We, or should it be better said, I tend to seek fault in other people when confronted with disappointment and sour taste, or when having close people betray my  trust, when having them behave in ways I (we) did not expect of them.

Yet, I keep going in circles with this idea and as seemingly bipolar as i am, I get easily confused, by this contradictory thought that it is in fact, no one else`s fault.

It should be just set as decided that there can be found no discrepancy or clashing of principles, of morals, or of mutual expectations any longer between two or several more people. Thus, having this decided, a disposition of operation or action should be made and completed.

The only remaining part of this process is that your mind, soul and body must also understand that, since this disagreement has been created, not of direct action of another towards us, but in disregard of our expectations, our trust, compliance and commitment , in disregard of the dreams and hopes, and cognitive representation made upon that person, one must let go and create another comfortable habitat in which  the conflict between these two opposite sides: the expectations set and the real-life attitude, must be removed.

The process of building this desired habitat is hard, confusing, and above all is demanding. It demands extra-energy, extra-effort, it demands going through lows and sadness, maybe even grief, but in the end, it must be executed.

Haven`t had to go through one of these in a while. Yet, I keep on making choices I end up regretting, then having to make other painful decisions/ It`s like i build my life in a never-ending cycle of bad choices, super-expectations of other people, and i keep on getting the same results no matter what strategy I choose to apply.

Maybe this would help you, the rest of us, who still have a chance of taking a leap out of the circle, or maybe avoiding it completely.

I keep on blaming you (in my mind). You the only "you" who had me introduced into this vicious, eroding-from-underneath circle. Instead I should turn back to myself again, to look for what I need, what I want, what I can build or create for myself, re-analyze and act accordingly to have this fixed  maybe this time for good!

It seems as writing would help along, it most definitely helps in terms of retrospection, it helps as analyzable data. But sometimes, most importantly, it helps as a relief of what builds up inside as emotion, sorrow, confusion, and all the bad things that must be "exorcised" in order to make room for the good, the positive, the all-time desired ataraxia.

Looking fo... no wait! Working on creating a better space around me! Hope you`re doing the same thing! And if not, this would be a great moment to start..