tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11191083346552059602024-03-19T19:27:23.386+01:00cu ochii inchisiUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger119125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-77045299161923251292015-10-25T04:27:00.001+01:002016-10-08T22:43:55.058+02:00People<a href="http://people/"></a><br />
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So let me tell you about the hurt kind. About the damaged kind. About the <i>redeem-less</i> kind.<br />
<br />
Let me tell you about the kind of people I`ve met and even shared pieces of my life with.<br />
<br />
I`ve met people who were awkwardly funny and had a disturbed sense of humor, people who have had a damaged childhood and faced family distress, people living dangerous, unhealthy lives, people who have made it out of immense trouble.<br />
<br />
I have met people so emotionally damaged they couldn`t even tell who they were anymore. I`ve met the strict, ethical and dedicated people. I`ve met some I would end up looking up to, and people who I consider to be my kind.<br />
<br />
I`ve met people with little education but the warmest and greatest hearts.<br />
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And I`ve met cold people driven by external gratitude and recognition. So void inside they needed others onto whom they projected their frustration, insecurities and from whom they expected output which would then be used to try and fill the void.<br />
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I`ve met such detached and disregarding people that would actually stir jealousy. I have met people craving for affection-unable to give any themselves. I`ve met people feeding on hurt and pain caused on others. I`ve met ridiculous, annoying people, have met vindictive and judgmental ones.<br />
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I have met t e probably some of the smartest and most lucrative people I could run into throughout my life.<br />
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I have given my share of real thoughts and feelings to each one of these people- finding myself to be (subjectively) the most sincere person I know.<br />
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We`re not perfect. No one is. We are restless pieces of energy making up the fantasy life we call this world.<br />
<br />
I honestly believe there is nothing more ephemeral and frail than the energies we exchange with each-other. Mark human interaction as the most special of all worldly functions.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-20109962669571235442015-10-04T07:56:00.000+02:002015-10-04T08:15:34.920+02:00Dimineti - eterne reintoarceri -<br />
Am mai scris pe subiectul asta.. de multe ori.<br />
<br />
Sunt dimineti de tinut minte.<br />
<br />
Dimineti traite in greata rasaritului recurent, care ma prindeau cu ochii grosi si grei dupa N nopti nedormite. Dimineti care trag dupa ele incarcatura grea a cuvintelor ce ranesc sau raneau in trecut; care trag dupa ele multiple incercari trecute.<br />
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Si Dimineti ca cele despre care povesteam de langa mare, de pe nisip. Diminetile alea in care ma simt supravietuitorul unei apocalipse in miniatura. Dimineti in care noaptea purifica mintea, sufletul, fizicul; oboseala nu mai este relevanta, caci bucuria de a simti re-nasterea o acapareaza.<br />
<br />
Despre astfel de dimineti mai vorbisem. Le-am trait si retrait des pe parcursul drumului meu initiatic.<br />
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Dar dimineti ca cea de azi nu mai traisem pana acum. Asa ca trebuie sa o marchez. Aici. Acum.<br />
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O dimineata pe care am evitat-o crezand ca va veni ca cele ce produc greata si oboseala din sila cu care rasariturile isi fac simtita prezenta. O dimineata pe care nu voiam sa o trec pur treaza, imi era teama de ea.<br />
De fapt Dimineata de azi e diferita. Rasaritul a fost temut si nedorit, insa s-a dovedit a fi necesar si util. A fost o dimineata in care, odata cu lumina puternica a soarelui, am trait detasarea. O detasare lina. Amara si calma.<br />
Aceasta dimineata m-a convins sa o imbratisez, sa o doresc si sa o traiesc timp de treizeci de minute in mijlocul intersectiei-acolo unde m-a izbit-.<br />
<br />
O Dimineata care mi-a amintit de culoarea vietii, culoarea lumii mele . Mi-a amintit ca tot ce sunt pe dinauntru si pe dinafara, e tot ce este. <br />
<br />
Sunt dimineti ca asta, cred, in care realizam ca putem face orice pentru noi, ca o putem lua la picior catre nicarieri fara nicio implicare , fara niciun bagaj anterior. Si mai cred de fapt, ca aici se incheie drumurile initiatice. [Oare..?!]<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-14847910031824660112014-09-21T02:29:00.004+02:002014-09-21T02:55:14.827+02:00The Choices We Make <br />
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We, or should it be better said, I tend to seek fault in other people when confronted with disappointment and sour taste, or when having close people betray my trust, when having them behave in ways I (we) did not expect of them.<br />
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Yet, I keep going in circles with this idea and as seemingly bipolar as i am, I get easily confused, by this contradictory thought that it is in fact, no one else`s fault.<br />
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It should be just set as decided that there can be found no discrepancy or clashing of principles, of morals, or of mutual expectations any longer between two or several more people. Thus, having this decided, a disposition of operation or action should be made and completed.<br />
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The only remaining part of this process is that your mind, soul and body must also understand that, since this disagreement has been created, not of direct action of another towards us, but in disregard of our expectations, our trust, compliance and commitment , in disregard of the dreams and hopes, and cognitive representation made upon that person, one must let go and create another comfortable habitat in which the conflict between these two opposite sides: the expectations set and the real-life attitude, must be removed.<br />
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The process of building this desired habitat is hard, confusing, and above all is demanding. It demands extra-energy, extra-effort, it demands going through lows and sadness, maybe even grief, but in the end, it must be executed.<br />
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Haven`t had to go through one of these in a while. Yet, I keep on making choices I end up regretting, then having to make other painful decisions/ It`s like i build my life in a never-ending cycle of bad choices, super-expectations of other people, and i keep on getting the same results no matter what strategy I choose to apply.<br />
<br />
Maybe this would help you, the rest of us, who still have a chance of taking a leap out of the circle, or maybe avoiding it completely.<br />
<br />
<br />
I keep on blaming you (in my mind). You the only "you" who had me introduced into this vicious, eroding-from-underneath circle. Instead I should turn back to myself again, to look for what I need, what I want, what I can build or create for myself, re-analyze and act accordingly to have this fixed maybe this time for good!<br />
<br />
It seems as writing would help along, it most definitely helps in terms of retrospection, it helps as analyzable data. But sometimes, most importantly, it helps as a relief of what builds up inside as emotion, sorrow, confusion, and all the bad things that must be "exorcised" in order to make room for the good, the positive, the all-time desired <i>ataraxia</i>.<br />
<br />
Looking fo... no wait! Working on creating a better space around me! Hope you`re doing the same thing! And if not, this would be a great moment to start..<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-5231166449999135762014-07-28T00:32:00.001+02:002015-11-15T01:32:50.244+01:00Un "anti"-articol<br />
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Nu scriu des. Nu mai scriu atat de des pe cat o faceam inainte si poate din aceasta cauza nici nu am un talent deosebit -aici ma refer la scris ca act creativ, de o oarecare importanta-. Nici nu am vreo veleitate in acest sens.<br />
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Totusi simt nevoia sa transmit, simt nevoia sa-mi vad propriile ganduri in aceste randuri.<br />
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Poate e o perceptie ingusta si mai mult ca sigur subiectiva, totusi observ in ultima perioada, o intetire a postarilor, a articolelor "anti".<br />
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Dintr-odata un numar tot mai ridicat din oamenii ce activeaza in online pe care-i mai urmaresc sau care-mi pica in radar atunci cand navighez pe aici, intamplator, fie posteaza, fie dau share la variate materiale cu mesaj cvasi-negativist.<br />
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Acum cateva saptamani circula constant prin feed-ul de facebook un video despre cum facebook-ul e "rau", demonstrand asta prin prezentarea povestii unui tip care in realitate traia o viata nasoala, iar pe facebook posta opusul a tot ce i se intampla, ca in final sa scrie o ultima postare exclamand cat de trista si destramata e viata lui, apoi stergandu-si contul de facebook.<br />
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In urma cu ceva zile, fiind, din coincidenta sau nu, la mare, mi-a fost dat sa citesc un articol postat pe platforma online a unei publicatii jurnalistice din Romania. O tipa isi exprima dezgustul fata de anumite categorii de oameni care "nu stiu sa aprecieze marea" si o aduc in derizoriu.<br />
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In acelasi timp mi-am dat seama ca si eu am facut chestia asta relativ recent, ironizandu-l acid pe un anume Radu F Constantinescu in relatie cu postarile sale (care in continuare mi se par extraordinar de seci si vadite de sens).<br />
<br />
Totusi, astazi cred ca am avut ceea ce americanii ar numi " a change of heart". Mi-am dat seama ca ma irita, si ma intriga in acelasi timp avalansa asta de hiper-critici si comentarii negative, si ca, eu fiind unul din oamenii aia care ma enerveaza, trebuie sa ma opresc.<br />
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Ce vreau sa spun cu asta e ca: mi-as dori sa citesc mai des articole ce pot fi critice, dar in acelasi timp educative, sau cel putin amuzante. Cu alte cuvinte, de ce trebuie doar sa tarasaim lucrurile care nu ne plac fie la altii, fie la viata in general prin noroi si doar atat?! Fara sa oferim si o solutie sau macar o anecdota amuzanta la final?!<br />
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Iar ca si completare la cazurile mentionate mai sus: Nu. Nu cred facebook-ul sau twitter-ul , sau internetul in general e de vina pentru problemele noastre, sau pentru fricile noastre, pentru limitele sau esecurile noastre, nici pentru incapacitatea noastra de a le constientiza/controla, etc. In definitiv, nu cred ca "exteriorul" e cauza problemei in genul asta de situatii, ci noi. Felul in care alegem sa ne raportam la lucruri, felul in care le intelegem, felul in care utilizam tool-urile care ne sunt puse in mana, felul in care triam informatia pe care o primim-asta e principalul mecanism care duce la unul sau altul din efecte.<br />
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Poate asta functioneaza doar pentru mine pana la urma; la urma urmei si eu folosesc un mecanism propriu de a citi si interpreta realitatea in care traiesc. Fiecare face asta la randul sau. Intr-adevar, si fara urma de ipocrizie, mi-as dori ca numarul celor care gandesc cel putin critic, sau macar ofera doua ori mai multe fatete ale unui aspect, ori prezinta o problema si ofera si o solutie la aceasta, sa il intreaca progresiv pe al celor care se plang, critica fara argumente sau solutii, care se preocupa prea mult de stilul de viata personal al altora sau de alegerile lor personale, etc.<br />
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Si eu am fost unul din ei, poate, sau am devenit usor-usor, fara sa-mi dau seama pana acum.<br />
<br />
Cred totusi ca avem nevoie cu totii, sau daca nu, cel putin eu, de mai multi oameni cu viziuni pozitive, indreptate spre progres, viziuni reparatorii, nu doar analitice, oameni dispusi sa lupte spre realizarea concreta a lucrurile pe care doresc sa le vada functionand in jurul lor. Nu stiu exact de ce suntem asa, sau ajungem asa, insa pasivitata si negativismul excesiv nu pare sa fi ajutat prea mult-daca luam in considerare cel putin istoria recenta-.<br />
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Am fost si eu la mare de cateva ori vara asta si da, sunt o groaza de lucruri care nu-mi convin, care nu-mi mai plac, care ma intristeaza. Mi-am dat seama ca folosind o reteta proprie ma pot simti la fel de bine si de eliberata si de fericita intr-un loc unde ceilalti din jur sunt un agent dezamagitor in mod general pentru mine, mi-am dat seama ca nu-mi mai pasa daca 20 de fete din 30 in Vama, acum poarta sandale cu talpa ortopedica, fuste scurte lucioase si geaca de piele, bluze cu vedere larga la decolteu si se machiaza ca de cabaret... pot sa ma uit in sus, sa vad cerul cu stelele si luna, pot sa merg intr-un loc ascuns alaturi de cineva drag si sa adulmec mirosul sarat al aerului, sorbind dintr-o bere.<br />
Pot sa ma bucur de toate lucrurile de care ma bucuram si inainte.<br />
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Da stiu, poate cativa vor spume ca si articolul meu poate fi folosit drept critica la cele de mai sus, insa, eu sper ca solutia e identificabila si se intrevede printre fraze.<br />
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Nu stiu daca va ajuta cu ceva, dar vroiam sa pun in scris ceea ce cred, ceea ce simt, ce vad, si vreau sa aduc si argument acolo unde se poate si vreau sa propun si solutii la lucrurile care ma deranjeaza.<br />
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Mi-as dori de la mine in primul rand si in mod evident si de la cei din jur, sa vad mai multa atitudine pro-activa, mai multa implicare activa in realitatile fiecaruia, mai multa responsabilitate poate si un strop de umor si pozitivism.<br />
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Poate ne influentam unii pe altii in modul asta si rostogolim impreuna piatra asta mai departe, spre ceva mai bun pentru toti!<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-6795511423135308712014-06-23T03:56:00.001+02:002014-06-23T04:23:39.892+02:00Inca un nimic despre nimeni si nimic.<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span lang="RO">"De fapt, scriu cum aş vorbi. În
jurul meu e pustiu, iar omul dacă nu vorbeşte uneori, moare, nu-i aşa?"<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span lang="RO"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="RO">Acelasi
sentiment ma stapaneste si pe mine de ceva vreme. Si nu mai pot sa-l ignor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="RO">M-am
straduit sa-mi cladesc un soi de sistem de aparare, un fel de mecanism de
auto-control. Cred ca mai corect e sa le spun tertipuri mentale; pentru a ma
pacali cumva si a ocoli ceea ce se intampla cu mine de fapt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="RO">Nu
stiu cum sau de ce am devenit asa. Nu-mi dau seama cand s-a produs ruptura asta
brusca si dureroasa intre cine eram
inainte (asa cum imi amintesc eu acest <i>inainte</i>)
si cine sunt acum (asa cum ma vad astazi in acest <i>acum</i>).<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="RO"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="RO">Am
crezut ca etapa aia cu 2011 a trecut. M-am mandrit-chiar si fata de sine- cu
faptul ca am reusit sa ma adun, sa ma lipesc la loc, sa ma vindec usor-usor.
Da.. asa-i! Am crezut cu tarie ca e o <i>faza</i>
pe care o pot folosi drept sablon de <i>succes
</i>pentru toate cacaturile care ar fi urmat sau urmeaza sa vina.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="RO">Imi
dau seama in ultimul timp ca <i>ceva </i>tot
nu e in regula, ceva e inca stricat acolo, ceva e inca nefunctional. Desi nu
mai reusesc sa-mi dau seama exact care e cauza, sentimentul asta nesuferit
persista. Nu sunt sigura de ce e mai
rau: Sa treci printr-o faza nasoala si sa
o poti defini concret , sau sa stai in starea asta constanta de
anxietate in care sentimentul neplacut ramane, dar cauza e ne-identificabila?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="RO"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="RO">Mi-e
din ce in ce mai greu sa ma opresc din a ma gandi la un viitor urat, la toate
lucrurile nasoale si in acelasi timp inevitabile care urmeaza sa se intample, la
toti oamenii dragi pe care urmeaza sa-i pierd, la toate problemele care se vor
adauga la cele actuale. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="RO">Cacaturile
astea imi bantuie mintea mai pregnant decat o scena de panica sub influenta
drogurilor. Am incercat sa aplic pana
acum toate tehnicile alea de succes de pana acum ca sa le-nlatur, sa le aman,
sa le ignor, sa ma detasez. Ei bine cred ca ceva da gres in sfarsit. Trebuia sa
vina si momentul in care sa cedeze ceva ce n-a fost reparat complet de la
inceput.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="RO">Nu
mai puteam sa rezist. Am crezut ca o sa gasesc noi modalitati sa fac ce faceam
si pana acum, dar nu mai functioneaza. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="RO"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="RO">Am
inceput sa scriu iar aici-in locul asta cu care nu ma laud si pe care nu-l
promovez-. O fac pentru ca nu mai gasesc alinare nici in cateva cuvinte ale
singurei persoane care ma asculta si ma-ntelege in starile astea (atunci cand
se acutizeaza). Nu mai gasesc alinare in nimic din ce ma linistea pana acum.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="RO">Pentru
multi lamentarile mele insipide pot sa para dovezi de slabiciune, ori
ridiculisme hipsteriste, ori pot sa para nejustificabile. Dar asta nu anuleaza
nemultumirea mea fata de viata, nu anuleaza dezamagirea, gustul amar sau
sesiunile de depresie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="RO">Nu
tin sa ma plang concret si nici sa momesc mila; n-am facut-o niciodata. E doar un
mod de-a lasa afara cate ceva din mizeria care se adunain interior, intr-un spatiu exterior. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="RO">E
teribil sa fii prizonierul propriei minti, al amintirilor, al proiectiilor triste
despre viitor. E teribil sa te lupti constant cu ceva ce e in interior; ceva ce
nu poti atinge, nu poti identifica...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="RO">E
teribil sa te simti singur chiar si in compania altor persoane, tocmai pentru ca
stii ca nu te poti exterioriza.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="RO"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="RO">Nu
mai pot. Nu mai puteam sa le ascund. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="RO">Nimic
nu tine cont -in viata asta- de cine suntem cu adevarat, de ce simtim, de ce
credem, de cine suntem, de cine vrem sa fim sau vroiam vreodata. Nimic nu tine
cont de esenta noastra, nimic si nimeni nu tine cont de gandurile, de faptele,
de dorintele celorlalti.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="RO"> Inca un nimic despre nimeni si nimic.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="RO"><br /></span>
<span lang="RO"><br /></span>
<span lang="RO"><br /></span>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-13653573137493827802014-03-29T13:52:00.000+01:002014-03-29T14:00:47.199+01:00FUGIT IRREPARABILE TEMPUS 4`<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Una din zilele acelea cand tot ce poti sa faci e sa te
inchizi intr-o bula invizibila si sa incepi un drum de explorare. Imi lipsise
prea mult zumzetul lumii. Imi lipsise izolarea de sine prin contopirea cu
ceilalti. Ma ajuta sa-mi aduc aminte de
mine, de cine sunt, de ceea ce-mi doresc sa fiu. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
E ciudat cum toata chestia asta a pornit de la cateva lucruri care imi
amintesc de tine. Am pastrat de-a lungul timpului cateva ancore emotionale de
care nu ma pot debarasa oricat as incerca, si poate ca de unele din ele nici nu
vreau sa ma lipsesc. Ce este diferit de data asta, e faptul ca intr-un mod
cumva involuntar scot la suprafata ori o poza mai veche, ori un obiect, sau caut un loc pe care sa-l asociez cu
amintirea ta. Fac asta insa, sub forma unui ritual funerar. E ca si cum oricare
din lucrurile sau locurile respective reprezinta cimitirul unde merg pentru a rascoli cateva amintiri si pentru a-ti
vorbi in absenta, ca unei persoane ce nu
mai este. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Poate da senzatia de
macabru sau lugubru ce spun, dar e singurul mod in care chestia asta imi
aduce liniste. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ma asteptam sa lasi un astfel de sentiment in urma. De
pierdere ireversibla. Pentru o lunga perioada, pana recent, am crezut ca starea
de plangere a pierderii nu va mai trece niciodata. Acum incep sa ma resemnez si
sa-mi creez acest ritual de a omagia amintirea ta. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mintea noastra e atat de complexa si capabila de a crea
niste `work-around-uri` incredibile atunci cand vine vorba de restabilirea
echilibrului emotional-psihologic. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Timpul trece. Repede. Si tot ce trece odata cu el, nu se mai
intoarce niciodata, cel putin nu sub aceeasi forma. Dar eu pot sfida timpul si
tot ce ia cu el, caci am propriul mecanism prin care ceea ce a fost, se pastreaza si exista inca, in mintea mea si pot sa folosesc
asta sub toate formele in care-mi doresc.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nu stiu daca e adevarata chestia cu `daca intalnesti pe
cineva, nu-l mai uiti niciodata`. Nu stiu in ce fel este aplicabila si in ce
cazuri. Sunt sigura doar de faptul ca
ceea ce a ramas in urma ta, in urma noastra, va ramane ca istorie. Nu am niciun
dubiu. Si nu mai este relevant cand a
fost, cat a fost, sau cum s-a intamplat apoi. Conteaza ca ce a existat candva,
ramane inca. As long as i`m alive. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Si oricat timp va trece, si oricate experiente ma vor cali
de-acum inainte. Voi scrie, voi vorbi, si-mi voi aminti despre tine mereu. Pentru ca ce a fost intre noi, a declansat un
proces in interiorul meu, care nu m-ar fi adus unde sunt azi, nu mi-ar fi
aratat poate si alte portiuni din persoana mea, nu mi-ar fi fost facut
cunoscuta capacitatea de a intelege patrunzator cine sunt eu, cine sunt
ceilalti, cine vreau sa fiu si ce trebuie sa fac. Poate nu a fost voita interventia, insa
simpla ta prezenta in viata mea a construit incet-incet
persoana care sunt astazi. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Poate ca, intr-adevar exista oameni pe care-i cunoastem
si lucruri ce ni se intampla cu un scop
pe care-l descoperim mult mai tarziu sau niciodata. </div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Poate ca asta am avut de invatat unul de la celalalt.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-23196339452415052802014-03-07T23:38:00.001+01:002014-03-07T23:38:47.197+01:00For the ones.. <iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/pEFxfVyz4Uc" width="459"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-81722884730066146252014-02-20T22:17:00.002+01:002014-02-20T22:17:32.269+01:00`No le digas a nadie lo mucho que te quiero`<br />
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Una dintre serile in care vulnerabilitatea e la cel mai intalt nivel. E o vulnerabilitate placuta. E ca atunci cand ma ghemuiam langa tine imbracata in pat spunand ca nu adorm inca, dar vreau doar sa stau asa, langa tine cateva minute. Din momentul in care inchideam ochii si iti simteam prezenta, nimic din ce se intampla injur nu mai putea conta. Era atat de multa liniste interioara, incat putea lovi luna pamantul si as fi stiut ca tinandu-te de mana, as fi putut sa mor atunci pe loc.<br />
Da, e o vulnerabilitate placuta, o eliberare, o garda ce a fost tinuta sus intreaga zi, acum cade linistita.<br />
Nu pot realiza de ce ma simt asa azi. Nu stiu daca a fost vantul, sau sporadicul soare de pe cer, sau prea multa cafea, sau prea multe jeluri. Nu stiu cum apar momentele astea in care, chiar si-n lipsa ta absoluta, ma simt in siguranta, ma simt multumita cu putinul pe care-l simte sufletul meu.<br />
<br />
Incercam sa-mi dau seama de ce primavara asta care vine acum pe drum, fata de ultimele doua sau trei, e atat de intens absorbita. Aum cred ca e pentru ca, anul trecut eram in plina dubla sesiune de diploma (licenta si disertatie), iar cea de dinainte a fost plina de esecuri, greseli si probleme.<br />
E prima primavara in ultimii trei ani cand am timp pentru mine, pentru arta mea, si am pe deplin mai multa dispozitie mentala si spirituala sa o primesc, sa o savurez.<br />
E o seara stranie, dar calma. O seara care m-a indemnat sa-i scriu... O noapte pe care o voi imbratisa cu drag si sper, cu venirea diminetii, senzatia sa nu plece, ba din contra: sa ramana! Sa ramana!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-67551319686591427192014-02-19T14:15:00.001+01:002014-02-19T14:15:57.574+01:00Riot and struggle in Kiev, Ukraine<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Hvds2AIiWLA" width="480"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-156109789853918492014-02-18T20:29:00.001+01:002014-02-18T20:29:00.895+01:00Shades of black<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">It will always be you / </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Who let go of that hand</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I am sad /</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Over things you say...</span><br /><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/dzilW4kYapc" width="480"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-45514485976557822872014-02-18T01:24:00.001+01:002014-02-18T01:24:20.505+01:00Perhaps i've been sad longer than you<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/zSpv7dIiTt4" width="480"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-23719496205030674832014-02-13T03:28:00.001+01:002014-02-13T03:28:35.932+01:00What if you stayed this time?!<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/NTmlNigifSI" width="480"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-90126929252655069762014-02-10T15:02:00.001+01:002014-02-10T15:02:03.764+01:00I`m glad i`m not invited. <iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/PGDnO3Ghw8E" width="459"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-7092133601542027762014-02-08T01:32:00.002+01:002014-02-08T01:32:22.867+01:003 am evokes just that:<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /><br />"The only sadness-es that are dangerous and unhealthy are the ones that we carry around in public in order to drown them out with the noise; like diseases that are treated superficially and foolishly, they just withdraw and after a short interval break out again all the more terribly; and gather inside us and are life, are life that is un-lived, rejected, lost, life that we can die of. If only it were possible for us to see farther than our knowledge reaches, and even a little beyond the outworks of our presentiment, perhaps we would bear our sadness-es with greater trust than we have in our joys. For they are the moments when something new has entered us, something unknown; our feelings grow mute in shy embarrassment, everything in us withdraws, a silence arises, and the new experience, which no one knows, stands in the midst of it all and says nothing.<br /> It seems to me that almost all our sadness-es are moments of tension, which we feel as paralysis because we no longer hear our astonished emotions living. Because we are alone with the unfamiliar presence that has entered us; because everything we trust and are used to is for a moment taken away from us; because we stand in the midst of a transition where we cannot remain standing. That is why the sadness passes: the new presence inside us, the presence that has been added, has entered our heart, has gone into its innermost chamber and is no longer even there, is already in our bloodstream. And we don't know what it was. We could easily be made to believe that nothing happened, and yet we have changed, as a house that a guest has entered changes. We can't say who has come, perhaps we will never know, but many signs indicate that the future enters us in this way in order to be transformed in us, long before it happens. And that is why it is so important to be solitary and attentive when one is sad: because the seemingly uneventful and motionless moment when our future steps into us is so much closer to life than that other loud and accidental point of time when it happens to us as if from outside. The quieter we are, the more patient and open we are in our sadness-es, the more deeply and serenely the new presence can enter us, and the more we can make it our own, the more it becomes our fate; and later on, when it "happens" (that is, steps forth out of us to other people), we will feel related and close to it in our innermost being. And that is necessary. It is necessary - and toward this point our development will move, little by little - that nothing alien happen to us, but only what has long been our own.(...)<br /><br />And to speak of solitude again, it becomes clearer and clearer that fundamentally this is nothing that one can choose or refrain from. We are solitary. We can delude ourselves about this and act as if it were not true. That is all. But how much better it is to recognize that we are alone; yes, even to begin from this realization. It will, of course, make us dizzy; for all points that our eyes used to rest on are taken away from us, there is no longer anything near us, and everything far away is infinitely far."<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />[Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a young poet, # 8]</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-67051984471493225322014-02-07T01:42:00.001+01:002014-02-07T01:42:30.360+01:00Time and Heartbreak<br /><br />
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Say that time can't heal The broken heart you stole/ I don't know what's real<br /><br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-14741177255979434922014-01-29T00:00:00.001+01:002014-01-29T00:00:55.562+01:00Russian Red - I Hate You But I Love You<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/L4eEVUK8BwE" width="480"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-91925333872842421322014-01-25T01:44:00.001+01:002014-01-25T01:45:38.735+01:00I remember the smell of your skin, i remember everything..<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/9EHAo6rEuas" width="459"></iframe><br />
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Some things seem to go away just to come back and hit twice as hard...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-17038094901595116132013-12-11T13:37:00.001+01:002013-12-11T13:37:32.450+01:00perfect. Bohren & der Club of Gore - Black Earth [FULL ALBUM]<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/5Bm9F3GFnik" width="480"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-62059068618696937112013-12-08T17:11:00.001+01:002013-12-08T17:11:49.210+01:00REDUTA PUNGESTI<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/XFZhxabPkkM" width="480"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-43305817310683627282013-12-07T10:23:00.002+01:002013-12-07T10:23:24.839+01:00Please help stop human rights being abused by companies and authorities in Romania!<br />
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Pungesti, Romania, a village under SIEGE after a violent intervention of Riot Police Forces, requested by CHEVRON</div>
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<b>Call for International support – December, 2nd, 2013 / </b>Addressed to The European Parliament, The European Commission, to The Subcommittee on Human Rights of the European Parliament and to all #humanrigts NGOs that can monitor and act NOW on this attack.</div>
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PLEASE HELPS US, AND SIGN PETITION <a href="http://www.avaaz.org/en/petition/All_humanrigts_NGOs_that_can_monitor_and_act_NOW_on_this_attack_Save_the_village_of_Pungesti_Romania_from_fracking_and_a/?copy">HERE</a> ! It is very important to us to make this an international issue, as ecological consequences regarding this issue extend to all Europe; and humanity as well as democracy should always be protected. As Romanians from Pungesti village show us every day, the power belongs to the people, but with just a few it is hard to push oppressors away. So please consider reading this petition and signing it. Thank you. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-88927639533614508432013-12-05T01:35:00.001+01:002013-12-05T01:35:02.510+01:00Inima de la Pungesti bate si la Bucuresti<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/HMxXtJ9v9YE" width="480"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-81546204560169728152013-12-05T01:18:00.001+01:002013-12-05T01:18:41.377+01:00Protestele de la Pungesti: Oamenii cer retragerea echipamentelor de fora...<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/lSun5N8sry4" width="480"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-7894167941496231872013-12-05T01:15:00.001+01:002013-12-05T01:15:26.207+01:00S.O.S PUNGESTI 2 DEC/Incredibil.<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/9dwOIQzEbn4" width="480"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-67779650180720646572013-12-01T20:01:00.001+01:002013-12-01T20:01:13.831+01:00Viola organista made by Sławomir Zubrzycki/Da Vinci's String Organ Must Be Heard To Be Believed<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/sv3py3Ap8_Y" width="480"></iframe><br />
<br />
Click <a href="http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=247543086&live=1&utm_content=socialflow&utm_campaign=nprfacebook&utm_source=npr&utm_medium=facebook">HERE</a> to read whole article.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119108334655205960.post-47434592260056361932013-11-27T00:33:00.001+01:002013-11-27T00:33:19.573+01:00Portishead - Revenge of the Number<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/haI6d_c_oHo" width="459"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0