“Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.” ― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet I usually have some sort of strange relationship with objects, places, landscapes, smells all around me and this leads to short but intense moments of memory recallection of situations i`ve lived in the past or feelings i`ve had about something which i can associate with the current one... sometimes i even `get` these weird-creepy super-intense deja-vus that i don`t even know how to manage - i just get outside of my skin for a couple of minutes and then i`m back on track. And it`s in those moments that i feel special, that i feel i`m alive. The actual sentiment and situation i`m living on the inside is indescribable. I`ve been conducting this sort of experiment on my own person. I am trying to shift my perspective on most of the things in my life, such as: family, friends, love, men, people in general, myself. It is hard-i`ll have to admit- to come at a point where you actually have to fight your own thoughts and principles and take a contrasting decision. But to see the amazing results that specific decision brings in the end, really makes it all worth it. I have this sense of extraordinary and specialness about myself now, that actually gives me the power to mold who i am and to achieve goals i`ve left behind for a long while. It becomes needless to say how happy i feel about all of these things. One of these small cherishable moments happend today and in such an ordinary situation. I was just taking the trash out, and it was right after a `splashing` rainfall in my hometown. The moment i stepped outside and i smelled the air, i had a flash-back memory. I could see myself, just how i was when i used to be a little kid, maybe around 7 or 8.. and i was wearing this hoodie/sweatshirt with a strange brown and beige print, like army pattern but not that obvious (i guess you could say it kinda looked like a cow skin hahaa) .. anyway , so i was there in the street wearing this hoodie, and it just popped to my mind that it was the same one my mom would make me wear when it would rain in the summertime. The thought of only one smell of the fresh after-rain air would trigger a whole specific memory made me realize how sensitive people actually are to all things in their environment. There is such a strong connection between who we are, who we were, our thoughts, our wishes, our relationships with other people, nature. There`s no way we can run away from that. [Sometimes we just need to stop and listen for a moment.] Well now what i`ve given such a `meditation`-al speach here, i want to reach to the point i was intending to make with this written part of my life: I get these awesomely good vibes from such small things around me that i could`ve never gotten from all the realness and wrongness of the world. I`ve wasted so much energy on getting mad about bad stuff happening in the world, or facing other people`s fears or carrying their heavy, that i forgot how it feels to look at the miracles of life that are right there in front of me and wonder at life and nature`s immensity. I Guess what i`m saying is, Guys, gather up all the good energy you can get and focus on what you want to do with it. And always keep a wide perspective, cuz "perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage". :)
Intinsa pe pat, cu laptopul in brate, si cu multe idei de dezbatut in minte si cateva intrebari carora greu le-as gasi raspuns. Desigur un ambient nu tocmai necunoscut celor apropiati.
Din pacate sau din fericire aceste framantari interioare nasc nevoi posibil plictisitoare sau blamabile pentru altii, precum cea de a scrie si a face publice gandurile care deriva din acest proces.
*Pana la urma eu si Faulkner ne asemanam intr-o privinta: niciunul din noi nu-si poate da seama ce parere are despre un lucru, o idee, sau un fapt pana ce nu vede ce a scris despre acel lucru, fapt sau despre aceea idee.*
Asadar, o prima dilema pe care incerc sa o rezolv ca pe un puzzle de ceva zile-ncoace este daca ar fi o societate justa in a acorda, sa spunem, drept de vot unor categorii anume de indivizi-pe principii meritocratice.[?] Iar cea de-a doua cauza a framantarilor-si care nu este intocmai o dilema, ci o intersectare de idei, care se pot influenta concomitent, o reprezinta urmatoarele intrebari: Sunt societatile ce formeaza locuitorii unor zone anume de pe glob (fie ele si state in sine/dar si areale culturale), pregatite pentru un declin (in cazul celor in plina expansiune pana acum) si/sau pentru o evolutie semnificativa (in cazul celor in curs de dezvoltare pana recent, sau chiar in balanta opusa dezvoltarii)? Este lumea pregatita pentru o inversare a polilor economici, sociali si ai bunastarii?
De-aici ar mai fugi cateva idei adiacente in stanga si-n dreapta dar nu merita a fi mentionate momentan.
Fie cum o fi, eu inca nu mi-am pus ideile in ordine cu privire la raspunsurile mele pentru aceste intrebari. Mai mult decat atat, framantarile de genul asta din ultimele zile, m-au dus cu gandul la aceasta melodie a trupei Kings of Leon, care ma indeamna sa imi imaginez o lume pe foc, o lume arsa pana la cenusa din care sa reinvie , la fel si oamenii, si modurile noastre de gandire, de abordare a vietii si a lucrurilor exterioare, etc.
Imi doresc sa cred ca exista o astfel de putere purificatoate in propriile noastre sisteme. Eu voi incerca mecanismul pe propria persoana-la o scara mai mica. Voi incerca deci, in ciuda `ghinioanelor` si treburilor care nu merg tocmai cum mi-as fi dorit, sa schimb sablonul, sa abordez altfel problema.
Recent am publicat aici mai multe videoclipuri cu melodii decat chestii scrise de mine.
Am facut asta, insa, nu neaparat din dorinta de a umple spatiul "de lucru" cu `ceva`, ci am facut-o pentru ca un prieten bun mi-a zis mai demult ca eu am tendinta de a posta pe retelele de socializare melodii care reflecta starea/starile mele interioare, care spun ceva despre mine in acel moment. Si tind sa cred ca asa este. Pana la urma, oare nu facem toti asta intr-o masura sau alta? .. Nu spunem o poveste despre noi prin muzica pe care o ascultam si o aratam mai departe prietenilor, prin cartile pe care le cititm, prin filmele sau serialele pe care le urmarim?
Pe parcursul a ultimelor doua luni am avut ceva trairi `intortocheate` si cu exceptia micilor interventii "demiurgice", am lasat expresia acestor trairi pe seama melodiilor publicate aici. Le-am revizuit si am retrait emotiile avute prin muzica asociata. A fost un exercitiu bun de catharsis.
Tema principala a acestora, ca intotdeauna de altfel-una dintre cele preferate- este dragostea; de toate felurile in care se poate gasi ea. Nu ma pot desprinde de ea, caci e ca o nevoie, invat insa, incet .. treptat cum o pot folosi ca sursa de energie interioara, cum o pot canaliza spre locsoarele acelea dinlauntru care atata vreme au suferit amanare si ignorare din partea mea.
Vreau sa redau frumusetea vietii, intorcandu-mi atentia si consumandu-mi energia si dragostea spre lucruri cat se poate de productive, palpabile si datatoare de liniste si satisfactie interioara, pentru ca nu avem idee "ce putere are dragostea" prin muzica mai ales:
